LOOK KIDS. BIG BEN. PARLIMENT.

He's not gonna pork her Russ.

HE AINT HEAVY, HE'S MY BROTHER

I have let this dudes tunes in my head for at least 12 years.
I don't care what he does, it will always be good.

It's so pretty here...

THE NEW WAVE

I used to have a camera collecting problem. I also used to make a lot of money riding a bike, smoking pot and drinking coffee and somehow serving papers in the between. My weekends were spent combing thrift stores, flea markets and spots like Urban Ore for random cameras and other shit I thought would shape the house/room that identifies me.
I also shot a ton of film that still sits undeveloped in a zip lock bag(s).

I began to sell the cameras off in a pinch for cash. Mostly old Kodak Brownies in boxes and some old Land Cameras that were spotty and inconsistent at best. I kept the half frames I hoarded from my friends and continue to do so.

Today while distributing fliers for a big trash day in China Town my friend calls me over to his truck in Spanish. I don't speak a lick of it but have been told that I look like a "Mexican man", I have yet to find anyone to back this up other than the ones whom spoke it initially, so I do as I always do and walk over the source of culture. He says something about cameras and points inside the hopper where there are almost 30 Motts brand promotional Looney Tunes "toy" cameras. I grab the least nasty bag in the hopper and jam as many as I can in it.

I intend to keep some for the Magenius to smash while learning to capture what she sees, but if you want a soda can shaped 110 camera, get at me and we can arrange it.

MAY OR MAY NOT BE ME

If you were to go to the Italian Heritage Day parade this coming Sunday you may or may not see someone that looks like me dancing around with a can on his shoulder getting paid double time. I'm just sayin'.

PIRATE? WHAT PIRATE?

You cannot explain to these guys (my co-workers. Not the "My body is my temple now fuck me" guys on the cover) just who Tom from Finland is and why you tried to hide a book of this content on the utility box of the truck and then proceeded to hide it, now covered in grease in your lunch bag.

You just can't.

I am still trying to shake the nick name I obtained due to my subtle similar appearance to a certain 8 time gold medalist.
Tall and big ears really get you places in this world.

So imagine me being the guy who smuggles gay porn reading material home. Try shaking that. It may only make it worse.

Now I fight some battles at this job i.e. cyclists rights, vegetarianism, gay rights, cultural rights but trying to convince a knuckle dragger that I am not a "fag" seems like a waste of time and effort to me.

I just like Tom of Finland, I really enjoyed the article in the last issue of RVCA ANP Quarterly did on his career. I also tend to enjoy Homosexuals in whatever dose they come in.

There is a crude couple of jokes in there somewhere.


rar!

SHIN SHOTS

If you see me around in the next week or two ask me about my grade A shinner (not the eye) that I got from my partner who, after showing him the series of pics I found of this gal in various stages of dress and her peoples rolling blunts with six-pack abs a flexed threw the entire stack he watched me fish out of the hopper back in the hopper and proceed to run the blade. I told him to stop the blade and reached for the pictures when he the raised the tipper bar which took me out at the shin. Damn near put me in the truck.

Gripping my now larger and bleeding shin and the sole survivor (up there) I thought half heartedly to myself "this dude must not like black folks...".
Later in conversation he dropped the term "Jungle Bunny" and referred to a Mosque
as a "Taliban Church"...
Pretty much summed up my assumptions.

HIGH HOPES

When you see polaroids you get all jumpy and shit like you just found a gem that will
live on your fridge and instigate conversation at the party you have every three years for your birthday.
And sometimes they are just shots of houses in the Sunset.
A little art school placement and shit works out ok.
Still no party in the kitchen.
Not any more any way.

MAGENIUS!

Every asshole says that their kid is magical.
This asshole has proof...