This week in summary

I think that this may be the better way to keep this blog not boring. updating with an itemized list that contains specific and brief gems from the week.
what say you? I mean after reading the post below this one think about it and let me know. I could have just said: "lost my phone in Chinatown in the rain and basically the $340.00 I made that day will more than likely go to a new phone..." right? Anywho here are a few "touchers":

Remembered that I should have included this "winner" in the "close your mouth dear" entry: "Instead they should be celebrating the guy who shot Martin Luther King. HA! Did you hear what i said john?! i said that 'they should be celebrating the guy who shot Martin Luther King!' huh?" John (some dude at a coffee shop) then says "Martin Luther King day is not a holiday" shaking his head with his hands full of fresh baked bread (its 6:30am) he repeats "Martin Luther King day is not a holiday". I bite my tongue and say over and over in my head "try Arizona".

Told at 7:30pm that I was to show up at 2am for work which lasted until 1pm, three truck loads, two guys, no breaks.

Worked the Presidio. Amazed by how much nature there is just outside? inside? the city. I was all pumped to set up the family in the shitty apartments that over look the pacific in order to live among that many redwood trees.

Then the next day I worked Treasure Island. That name is very misleading. There is no treasure there. Its almost as if it is the land that time forgot and will continue to do so as the begin a plan to integrate the homeless in with the rest of the residents there. If you have ever read Virtual light by William Gibson or have had any doubts that Science Fiction writers predict the future, rest asure that they in fact do and in no time the bay bridge will be closed and folks will be living on it and the island that it rests on.

"It's all in the reflexes..."

Working Saturday's is a perk, you get time and a half and usually you just pick up city cans in a specific area, they however are not that fun, full of gallons of outdated leftover coffee that usually goes down your sleeve or on your pants. You smell worse than other heavier days.

I was fortunate enough to work one last week when it was pissing down rain. I was also fortunate enough to get a truck that had right side drive and was low entry. Since the cans are all on the right side of the street as you drive, and because there is little worse than getting in and out all day long from a truck that is high entry and having to walk around to the can while dodging cars, it is a job initself.

On this particular route we have to do the (name removed) Street Clean Up. This is where at a particular time of day we drive down said street and pick up everything that the folks in chinatown put out or manage to throw into the truck when you are not looking or just bent over. It's pretty sketchy, boxes full of dead and spoiled sea creatures fly just at head level and at most times I am much taller than most of these residents so you can imagine the amount of close calls I encounter in three whole blocks.

Tword the time I was to begin the clean up, while turning a corner my mom calls, seeing that she was driving home from a solo trip from Washington I thought it wise to answer and make sure she was doing OK. She was, and in the rush to get back to work I put my super awesome, big buttoned, music playing cell phone in my shirt pocket without buttoning it.

After dodging crab meat and god knows what else I back into a super tight alley and collect more garbage, most of which has me bending over to pick up any and everything that may go. After the alley was done I took a look at my map to see what I had left, map was gone. Pretty awesome, right? Maybe I should call my friend that was also working who had done this route a bunch and ask him how much I had to go from where I was, phone gone too? Serioulsy? I have never lost a phone before and no matter how many times I patted myself down it never showed up.

Once one looses their cell phone they begin to realize just how much the have come to depend on it, sort of like breaking a limb. Then once you get over that you get to cone to the realization that pay phones are a thing of the past. It is like a scavenger hunt trying to find one.

Soaking wet, tail between my legs I ask the firemen at the fire house and they allow me to call my phone and leave a pleading message to whoever had it now. No recovery of course. Take a look at the list of things I have found (see below). I guess its time I make and expensive deposit into the Karma bank.

Please excuse the longwindedness, trying to make up for lost time...

UPDATE forthcoming

sorry about the lag/halt in updating.
still trying to establish how this will all go.
since they never work new guys on holidays (ahem! triple time) i will update on Monday. seeing as i will not be the guy holding the rake over the pile of money.
be patient.
for now we are off to the bike race.

Dead body/parts

For those of you that have asked, or will...
I have yet to see a dead body or any body parts.
If i do, I assure you that when I see or talk to you it will be the very first thing out of my mouth. I promise.

Close your mouth dear.

Usually the shift goes well. My partner and I work well together, understand each other and what needs to get done and then on the way to the yard or to the dump something happens, they relax and get personal. Sometimes its about their families and children which is nice and humanizing. Other times its so off character from what I thought I had been working with that I take a step back and remind myself to with hold off judgement indefinitely and remember that I am only paired with this guy for now and thankfully not living with them while cameras follow us around as we run through a series of challenges that the producers think would be character building.

These are just a few of the gems that have fallen from the mouths of a few of the guys I have worked with:
-He is cool, for a black guy.
-Get your monkey ass out of my fucking way! (said to a black guy)
-I cant stand dirty fucking niggers, can you?
and then by the same guy...
-Have you ever had a black chick? I bet they would be cool...
-I am not racist, I think everybody should own one.
-My girl says that I am racist, I tell her I am not, I just hate the chinks, niggers and most white people.

What I find most unsettling is that these individuals feel comfortable enough that they think they can share these comments with me. What does this say about what I appear to be? Do they think I concur? I fucking hope not.

Go Fish/Figure...

Once while working a route at my previous employer I jumped off the truck and approached the first can. I ripped the lid off the top to see placed neatly atop the trash, a bag containing water and a goldfish, still swimming mind you.
You know the kind, you make a ping pong ball land atop a saucer and you win the fish in the bowl below it?

I was baffled. what do you do? Stop and collect the fish and take it home? Risk being the new guy with a tear in his eye who pisses off his partner only to have the bag rupture in the front of the truck while finishing the route?

Memories came back of a fish my Mom and I had in the small standard plastic bowl (the kind you get with the fish at the pet store) that had gone forgotten for years behind the kitchen curtain. Only to discover amid our negligence the fucker had adapted/evolved to living on the algae and muck that had accumulated on the walls of the bowl. We then, feeling terrible, cleaned the bowl and the fish promptly died.

I couldn't imagine the scenario that would prompt someone to place the fish in the garbage can as opposed to flushing it down the toilet to fend for itself among the alligators, snakes and mermaids.

My guess was that the little guy/gal was asleep in the back seat when they got home from the fair and figuring that he/she would not remember daddy winning the prize they would later name and mourn, they placed the fish in the trash to fend for itself amongst the rats, maggots and bulldozers.

Imagine that...

Items found and kept

Money, paper and coin- totaling around $11.00
Green lamp- currently in use in the living room.
Chair- currently getting wet in the back yard.
Bikes- i see so many yet have only gone back for one, a Schwinn that is just my size and in pieces in the garage. go figure.
a GBH record- had to let that one go, my partner was a jazz fan.
Photos- I tend to let thos stay in the trash, I had a problem with photos in the past.
A Bluetooth headset- brand new-ish, worked/great, I just have to deal with looking like a cyborg or a black dude at Ikea.
Clothes- a North Face Fleece, Work Pants, etc.
Cell Phones- Usually not the best conditions, but if they have a sim card i test em out.
Books- Cathcher in the rye, Johnny got his gun, Collected poems of Edgar Allen Poe and so forth.
Bad magazines- FHM, Blender, Playboy (good articles), Maxim (real bad articles).
Tyvek envelopes- in the hundreds. If you need some let me know, i can hook you up.
Paper clips in promotional magnectic container shapped like a house to promote health insurance.

What you dont see on the outside

If only it had been done in red, perhaps one would be more inclined to listen.

Blue Chips

I feel like chicken tonight

This is what one encounters when collecting food waste.
How long do you think it takes to amass 96 gallons of chicken leavens?
The good thing is that it is made into a paste that is then "digested" and used to power up to 1500 homes.
I suppose it's worth it...

Two great tastes?

Seriously?
I mean I am a fan of the Sheen/Estevez acting team and the double threat of Emilio writing and directing this 1990 gem, but when you edit it down add some Timex Social Club you have possibly shat upon my memories of years gone by.
Its kind of like dying and an angel who guards the gates at purgatory replays your life and shows a clip of you losing your virginity at age 14.

On a similarly alarming note there are videos on YouTube of edited tv shows (Lost, Buffy, etc.) that have been paired with music by The Smiths.
Perhaps I am the only garbage man that digs The Smiths...

ZA-HAM-BIE! BIE! BIE! BIE!

Tenderloin, in particular Mason and Eddy streets at around 4am toward the end of a shift that started the night before at 9:30pm started to look a little bit like the video for thriller.
You want 'em, we got 'em.

You can do it!

At my previous employer i was working recycling where the rich folk reside, i.e. Jerry Rice etc.
The recycling is collected in small buckets that are placed curbside in numbers of anywhere from 1 to 8 buckets.
So as I jump out to grab the bottles and cans bucket i find a DVD player, granted this has both types of plastic and types of metals but hardly clasifies as recyclable. Its hard to decide who is to blame, the rich or their uninformed/uneducated "help".
I am sticking to the rich.

I am sticking it to the rich whenever possible.
Mostly in merging situations while driving or shopping.
I encourage you to do the same.

Moons over my hammy

Often times there are small happenings in the job that redeem the early bed times, no sleep, lack of seeing/talking to friends, wearing high visibility gear, making any plans, or going to bed at the same time with my wife.
I am talking in addition to the weekly paycheck.
This one in particular was hanging off the back of the truck as we crested Telegraph Hill to see the sunrise over the Oakland hills, coloring the bay gold and orange. There was a time in my life (early 20's) that I had a hard-on for the occasional sunrise. I would take pictures, thank life for happening etc. now a days I am just "pumped!" to have a job of this caliber. I am also equally "pumped!" that this particular job can be so punishing on occasion because I lack motivation and self discipline and having the invisible drill sargent of responsibility in the back of my head places one foot in front of the other is a good tool for one such as myself.

"Pumped!"? you say?
yeah, I say.

Stair Master

Picture this:
4:30 am (shift started at 2am), Chinatown, pissing rain, dressed head to toe in high visibility yellow rain gear with the occasional reflective strip, size 14 wide steel toe boots (less grip than one who spends $150.00 would assume, see below).
Coming down from the second floor of a SRO (single room occupancy) building whose stairs were lined with linoleum and nothing else (i.e. no slip griptape (for better backside grabs), metal edges, etc.)
and there is me, my partner watching in bemused horror as i slip/slide/fall/surf/stair dive down easily 25 steps with a full 90 gallon toter cascading garbage, almost wave like, over my head and onto the bottom of the aformentioned steps. Stunning visual you say? yeah. I Say. I live this shit.

Occurances in garbage that can ruin any day

syringe
open condom
dirty diaper
panties (this has the potenial to go two ways)
some douches left over starbucks sludge splashed upon my person
whole fish (they seem to swim out of the can into the truck)
unidentifiable meat
tampon
bloody band aid
used toilet/tissue paper (any color)
baby rats
adult rats (i have had to toss both)
raccoon remains