FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF

Paid family leave is awesome. If you have a child and you have worked at your job for a year and have X amount of hours worked you can take up to 6 weeks off and get paid a percentage of your income 7 days a weeks. Its like disability, or it is disability without the pain and ducking insurance investigators.

Obviously, because this job is seniority based I will never get XMAS off having babies is the only way to make it happen. So we broke out the wand and the magic sparkled upon us and we spent the day Jesus throws his annual kegger on Maui jumping ATV's drinking more beer in one day than usually consumed in one week (still had to be sure I wasn't going to roll over on little one in the night) and introducing our daughter to "local-ism" (this was her 2nd trip there, I waited until I was 27, my mother went with us and she is nearing the decade in which one can retire provided one has played their cards right, and this was her first trip). I actually got sized up on the beach (post haircut) and it was rather entertaining. It has been a while.
Cereal is $5.79 a box and gas is only 20 cents more than here.

Within 48 hours of being back from island styles we drove north up 5 to Mt. Shasta and continued the beer drinking and replaced ATV action for spinning wheels in the snow and stand up drunken driveway sledding. This was little ones first trip to the snow.

Returned home on NYE and crashed early cause that's how we roll and we continued to roll through the week doing little to nothing and accomplishing none of what we said we would (i.e. shelves from Ikea that I just had to get out and buy one morning that are still in the boxes).

So that is where I have been hiding.
Well, there and teetering on the edge of scrapping this blog thing. It sits in the back of my head like neglected chores, bills and family members that fall to the wayside in the beginning of a new relationship.
There is that and the harsh reality that I will never be able to watch TV or read a book again unless the child of the house is sleeping and that only happens when I am asleep myself or gone. Her mobility is bittersweet.

So today was profitable in the "shit I done found in the can" category. First it was a Nixon watch that appeared to only need batteries and seeing that the wife has been wanting a digital wrist watch as opposed to her holographic Timex monocle that she has to be oh so gentle with I took this as a fortuitous sign. I also found a nice solid wood box that had a half dozen drawers that all seemed to be empty with the exception of the bottom one that had jewelry and such in it. I quickly stashed it in the side box of the truck to inspect later. So after the shower and the nap I remembered that I had some booty in the back of the Subaru and if I did not get it right then and there it would suffer the same fate as the tent I found (thats two tents folks!) a few months ago, roling around hitting the dog as we drive around trying to find a place to get coffee and play ball.

Upon inspection we discover 2 Fossil watches, a Timex and a ROLEX SON!!!!
Yeah I said it! R-O-L-E-X! The back of the watch is clear (like a swatch) so you can see the inner most intricacies of its Swiss made movements. This shit is real!

In my head I am freaking out thinking about my new truck and new boots etc. etc.
Now the wife she has one and tends to know how they work so she puts it on and the perpetual winding thing kicks in and the awesome truck starts driving closer to me in my head, meanwhile I am washing dishes so all I can do is salivate at my good fortune.

Until...

I Google "signs of authentic Rolex watches" and the first thing they say is "if there is a glass crystal on the back of the case, so you can see the movement, your watch is fake." Crestfallen! I was almost ready to call this guy and said "lets do this."

That got me thinking about the other items I have come across recently. Folks with money throw away the craziest things, while working Saturday I found a pair of these jeans and it was not the first time either. I'm thinking that I should just sell these on eBay and check to see what the signs of counterfeit jeans are, after a brief tutorial I inspect the jeans to see if the woman that was wearing them was dragging them under neath the heels of her Jimmy Choo's. Looks good, they are still somewhat stiff and showed no "real" wear until I looked inside the jeans, between the legs and saw exactly why she chose to throw them out. I did what no man has ever done. I cursed the thong out loud and with no hesitation ran back to the Google god and asked it how I can get blood stains out of $200.00 jeans.

The Nixon watch works fine with a new battery and makes a nice little beep when it touched upon an hour mark. Thanks for asking.

I need a Gordon Lish in my life...